To Serve and Protect

It’s the time of year when haunted houses pop up across the country and the young and old alike wearily parade through the darkness as a carefully orchestrated cast of characters does their best to put a scare into the bravest of us. Now most of these aren’t very scary to anyone over eight years old, but recently one individual took it upon himself to be truly frighting. How? By being incredibly stupid.

Regrettably, in this case our subject was a member of the police, and worse, he wasn’t part of the entertainment. I have to believe that it wasn’t planned, because that would make it even more stupid, which quite frankly is hard to imagine. Or, at least I prefer not to imagine it. After all, spontaneous stupidity is preferable to planned stupidity.

Back to the story. I can only imagine it was the typical haunted house with ghosts and goblins jumping out from behind cardboard tombstones, while shrieking voices called and mummies suddenly came to life. Entertaining, but not quite up to the level of the latest Saw movie. However, this tour wasn’t quite over. At some point our officer decided that it would be a good idea to slip into the darkness and then jump out and surprise an unsuspecting passerby. Not very original I admit; it probably happens every night in every haunted house in the country. Only this time there was a twist - the officer jumped out, cocked his loaded revolver and stuck it in face of a young woman. It worked, according to the report the she was very scared.

As the story goes the department has suspended the officer and is investigating the matter. Official police business and all. Somehow they have to come up with an official sounding response that addresses being a moron. More likely, it gives their attorneys a few days to try and negotiate a settlement.


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