The Perfect Squirrel Gun

Oddly enough, I find myself compelled to construct an entry where I have nothing to say. Given the title of this blog, it was impossible to ignore a recent piece that focused on how to find the perfect squirrel hunting gun. Making it even harder to ignore, the article started by asking the timeless question, “how big is a squirrel’s head, anyway?” I have nothing to add, nothing to reflect on, nothing - well nothing of any relevance. It just felt morally impossible to let it pass without comment.

Full disclosure - I am not a hunter. Not that I have anything against hunting. Living in the northern part of the country, not managing the size of the deer heard leads to thousands of animals suffering and slowly dying during hard winters. I understand deer issues. I understand bear issues. I understand turkey issues. What I didn’t realize was that we had such significant squirrel issues that it merited a detailed analysis regarding the best choice of weapons.

I must confess that I had a hard time reading through the article. Not only couldn’t I get beyond the reality that I was learning the intricacies of hunting squirrels, I failed to grasp why the piece wandered from apple trees to the Revolutionary War to fishing for salmon. Ultimately, a variety of weapons were discussed from muzzle-loaders, to .22 caliber, to17 caliber, (which travels at 2100 feet per minute - who knew), and finally to shotguns.

I read the article, I promise, I just don’t know what to recommend. The most egregious thing that I have ever done to a squirrel is to put crisco on the pole holding the bird feeders to keep them from climbing up and stealing all of the seed. For reference, it works well and has the added benefit of being hilarious when they slide down the pole.

So that’s it, I have fulfilled my obligation to comment on an article about selecting the perfect weapon against the dreaded and dangerous squirrel. As for me, I’m going to stick with the crisco.

Thanks for stopping by - I'll keep my eyes open for more people Squirrel Hunting With Bazookas

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