A Life Of Crime

Last week a bank was successfully robbed in La Jolla, California, that has forced me to consider how simple pulling off such a crime can be. Not that I am actively considering a change of careers to adopt a life of crime, but it does appear that it can be pretty easy money if you select the right bank.

For starters, the police reported that it was unclear if the robber had a weapon. Unclear? Somewhere during this episode shouldn’t there have been a weapon flashed? How about the threat of weapon? No? As the story goes our dangerous criminal simply handed over a note demanding money without so much as a single threat.

Still, we have to give our robber a break. In his condition it would have been difficult to carry both a note and a weapon. He was described as a well dressed elderly man with an oxygen tank and mask. It’s pretty clear how this guy slipped away undetected and melted into the city streets. How about we chase this guy down. Anybody? Anybody? Seriously, he had an oxygen tank under one arm and a bag of money in the other, how dangerous could he possibly be?

The final note that I found humorous was that he escaped with an unknown amount of cash. Really? Take the amount of cash that your balance sheet details that you have, then subtract the cash you actually have. What’s left over is what our superman escaped with. The only way to not know how much was stolen is to not know how much cash you are supposed to have. Seems like good information for a bank to have.

So, there you have it, the keys to identifying a bank to rob:

1- Hand them a note and they present a bag of cash. Think of it as a withdrawal slip.

2- Appear to be physically incapable of bank robbery so that they give you a head start with your escape.

3- Pick a bank that doesn’t know how much money they have. That way they can never be completely certain that anything was stolen giving your attorney a ready made defense.

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