Renewed Insincerity

Our Senate recently took time out from fighting about health care, Afghanistan, the economy and numerous other critical issues to pass a resolution that apparently has the sole significance of making them feel better about themselves. Once again, the people that we elected to travel to Washington and represent us have decided that it was time to offer an olive branch to Native Americans. Ironically, perfectly timed with Columbus Day where we celebrate a European “discovering” a country where millions of people already lived using a map that showed both the Bahamas and the Florida coast. A rather liberal definition of discovering.

What left me shaking my head were the words that our over-educated under-thinking representatives used in their resolution. For example:

# “Symbolic” Interpretation - we aren’t actually going to do anything, again. At least we are consistent.

# “Renewed Commitment” Apparently renewing that we aren’t actually going to do anything, again.

# Apologizing for “Ill-Conceived Policies.” Can’t say that I have ever heard of mass killings, forced relocation, slavery and loss of all civil liberties described quite so eloquently.

Considering the shallow feel of this renewed commitment, it seems fitting that it wasn’t a stand alone resolution. Rather, it was tacked onto a larger bill where it slid through the Senate largely unnoticed, eventually finding its way to the back pages of the few papers that picked it up. The final irony - the apology was added to a bill for military spending. Would it be possible for this action to be less sincere?

The fitting end to this piece of legislation will likely come when the bill goes to the House, where a similar resolution was defeated last year. I suspect that this is all too familiar to the Native American population.


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Mr. Wrong

Almost all women have stories of the Mr. Wrongs that have that they have unwittingly allowed into their lives, only after facing the reality that their character was dubious from the very beginning and they should have known better. As an observer, it appears that there is belief, (based on no empirical evidence), among many women that most of these men will eventually mature and become Mr. Right for someone. However, as a male member of the species, I regret to acknowledge that some are only capable of being Mr. Wrong.

Still, some are more wrong than others. They aren’t just Mr. Wrong, they are Mr. Really Wrong. Yet, somehow, they continue to convince normally rationale women to go out with them. One of these dates recently took place that made the average Mr. Wrong look like a good catch.

The happy couple went to dinner on their first date shortly after meeting. Personally, I believe that this is an ideal setting for that initial meeting; a safe, public place where you can size up the latest prospect. Are they capable of having a lengthy conversation? Even if so, do they actually have anything interesting to say? Is it all about them? Are they capable of eating in a manner that doesn’t cause you to lose your appetite? Unfortunately, in this case, our young women learned much more.

At the end of dinner Mr. Really Wrong informed her that he had left his wallet in the car and needed to slip out for a minute. I’m not sure how long one sit alone in a restaurant before realizing that your date isn’t returning, but I’m guessing that after about five minutes you come to terms that there probably isn’t going to be a second date.

At this point we know a lot about Mr. Really Wrong. First, you have to be really shallow to slip out on a date without even the courtesy to let your partner know that you don’t see the relationship going anywhere. Second, only a jerk sticks his date with the check. No doubt our young woman was angry and embarrassed, but the nightmare wasn’t over because the last lesson was that Mr. Really Wrong was a felon - she drove to the restaurant. Stepping out to grab his wallet was just an excuse for him to get his hands on the keys and steal her car!

Try explaining that to your friends.

“How was your date?”

“I’m hoping to see him again - in court.”

Is there a life-lesson here? Only if you plan on running background checks on every potential suitor. On second thought, tragically, that’s probably not as ridiculous as it sounds.

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How to Not Market Higher Education

There are many things for a family to consider when selecting the right college. If you have a child at this point in their life, the marketing efforts put forth can be overwhelming. Letters and packages begin arriving from the most unlikely of places as early as their sophomore year. High Schools sponsor college nights where colleges and universities from across the nation send representatives to stand behind tables and work to lure in parents and students alike. The economic reality is that our centers of higher learning are burdened with very high fixed costs and every seat and dorm room needs to be filled if they have any hope of avoiding the cost cutting knife. With the exception of a small percentage of schools that have the liberty of skimming off only the best of students, it represents a full fledged battle for every student capable of scraping together the money to pursue a higher education.

In this grand competition every school tries to put their own unique spin on similar sounding messages in hopes of attracting attention. Superior education, or at least a good education for the money. Manipulated employment statistics to make you feel good about emerging from the other side of the process capable of paying the large loans that were accumulated. Volunteer groups, clubs, athletics and Greek life offering a full social life. And, always, a safe environment for the precious child. Regardless of the level of education or the full calendar, no parent is willing to send their child to a school where they don’t feel it’s safe, and schools everywhere go to great length to make sure that this is an integral part of their presentation, even if the prospective student ignores that part of the literature.

In my home state there is a university located in an inner city that, deserved or not, battles the image of not being considered entirely safe. Despite this reputation, someone in academia decided that the best thing to do was to scare the crap out of every parent. This fall they proudly began offering a class titled, “Be Prepared: Surviving an Active Shooter Incident.” As a parent of two college students, I am more than a little concerned about a school that seems to be warning students and faculty that this might be a useful class while attending. However, on further look, they did include one safety factor - they are offering the class online so that you don’t have to come to the campus.

I understand their concern, and the tragedy at Virginia Tech has shown that it can happen anywhere. Still, somewhere the admissions staff at this university is sitting at a bar having a stiff drink and wondering how they are going to attract students. “Come to our school and your child will be safe,” isn’t the same as, “come to our school and we will teach your child how to avoid being shot.”

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Deer Hunting

Occasionally, I run across a nugget that makes me frustrated. Other times, angry. Then, there are those incidents that simply leaves me sad.

I live in Northern Michigan where white tail deer are a part of life. For the hunters amongst us, the opening day of deer season is as much a holiday as even the most sacred of days. If you have a garden, be it flower or vegetable, they are frequently a nemesis that has a habit of making it their own personal dining room table. And for all, they are the most feared animal on the roads; difficult to spot, impossible to miss. They can be seen at dusk or darting from headlights; everywhere, yet skittish and nearly impossible to get up close to.

There was a woman who recently had an encounter with one of these graceful creatures where her story and the end result are impossible for me to reconcile. As the story goes, a fawn was happily munching away at her garden when the woman became “frightened” and made an attempt to scare the animal off her property. Her exact claim to the judge was that she was trying to “shoo” it away.

Speaking from experience, keeping deer out of my garden often proves impossible, but scaring them out of the garden couldn’t be easier. A little noise, a slight movement, and they seem to miraculously melt away in the blink of a eye. It may be why that when I do spot a deer in my garden I have a tendency to remain perfectly still and watch, the sight far more valuable that the last of my broccoli.

All of this leads me back to our story. The stated objective was to shoo the deer out of her garden with a shovel. Seems appropriate - wave a shovel at a deer and it is sure to disappear. The problem is that the young deer was actually beaten to death with the shovel. If the animal didn’t immediately dart away, we can assume that it must have been an extremely young fawn, which if you have ever been fortunate enough to be close to, couldn’t be any less frightening, or any less worthy of a shovel to the head. Sorry, simply not possible. She intentionally killed the deer. Her story is a lie, and once again I find myself unable to comprehend some people.

In the end the woman was found guilty of misdemeanor animal abuse, given 80 hours of community service and a $500 fine. I understand not wanting your garden destroyed by animals. I don’t understand this. Put up a fence.

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Stupidity Begets Stupidity

For better or worse, you can quit almost anything you join along life’s journey by simply walking away; jobs, school, teams, clubs, even marriage.  The key word here is almost anything.  The United States Military is conspicuously absent from this list.  Sure, you can walk away; however the repercussions are significant and tend to follow you around throughout life.  

It seems to me that most individuals that walk out on the military probably do so as a spur of the moment decision.  That would explain why we typically find deserters running to the home of their parents or girlfriend.  Obviously, both locations that find themselves at the very top of the list of those now on your trail.  

From the outside looking in, the key in a situation such as this has to be to step back and evaluate what good could possibly come from the decision, and then begin trying to limit the damage. What you need to do is change your state of mind to try and make the best of a bad situation.   At the other end of the spectrum are those that endeavor to make a bad situation even worse - sometimes much worse.  As is true with many mistakes, trying to cover up your crime is a really bad idea.  Trying to cover up your crime by extorting money from the U. S. Government is a really really bad idea. 

This life-lesson brings us to a young man that found himself facing a court-martial for desertion and obstruction of justice leading up to 22 years in prison. All because he just couldn’t stop himself from coming up with increasingly bad and ridiculous ideas.  His dubious plan unfolded along these lines:

Deserting the military and taking refuge in Mexico.  Bad idea.

Sending a text message to the military notifying them that he was gone because he had been kidnapped.  Really bad idea.

Claiming to be a Mexican drug cartel member and demanding $100,000 for his own safe return.  Really, Really bad idea.

To be honest, as a citizen, those capable of conceiving such a plan are exactly the individuals that I want deserting our military.  It’s not representative of the the kind of cognitive thinking abilities I prefer making life and death decisions.  In the end he was sentenced to three years in prison and dishonorably discharged,  probably much more reasonable than the 22 years he could have been sentenced.  After all, he appears to only be dangerous to himself, and then only when thinking.

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Political Excuses

I am frequently numb to the words of politicians. Being an equal opportunity skeptic, I have a healthy distrust for both major parties in this country. It may be unfair, but before the first word spews forth I assume that what they are saying is somewhere between manipulative and dishonest.  At the end of the day, their only real interest is in maintaining their own jobs and maximizing air time.  

All of this said  It wasn’t one of our own politicians who uttered the most ridiculous excuse this week.  Moussa Dadis Camara is the leader of Guinea, and clearly has yet to master the art of constructing the teflon coated statement of non-accountability that our own politicians display with such dubious accomplishment.  

Tragically, the people of Guinea are far too accustomed to repressive leaders and an unstable government that keeps the population sentenced to lives of poverty and violence.  This last week brought about another sad incident where the military turned its guns on the public leaving over 150 citizens dead and many more injured.  What brought about this latest incident was the all too common starting point of hundreds of heavily armed young men with no direction.  Camara was scheduled to be at the event, and acknowledging his complete control over the military, this disaster seems to be one that could have been easily avoided.  Unfortunately, he wasn’t in attendance and the soldiers were left to their own devices - which the opposition claims appeared to be very carefully orchestrated.

Then came the obligatory official administration response intended to demonstrate that the new leader had no culpability in the incident.  For all of us that loathe the political public relations advisors that endlessly parade across the television and specialize in sculpting every word that comes from our own leaders, it became apparent why they are a necessary ingredient of the political machine. Camara addressed the media with what he believed was a reasonable alibi for not being at the rally to control his troops; he had lost the keys to his truck.  

People died because he couldn’t find his keys? On second thought, does the president/king/emperor/leader/whatever of this country really drive his own truck to events?  Did he honestly think that anyone would buy this?

The sobering reality is that in countries rich and poor, large and small, leaders make decisions that kill people.  In some cases, it is just done less eloquently.  

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