This story is absurd even by my standards, so let’s start with that. A Minnesota man was arrested after hitting a parked car. Once again, it was the all too common story that he had just left the bar after having a few too many drinks. The less common story is that he was driving a motorized La-Z-Boy chair. Considering that it’s hard to imagine that he was any real danger to anyone, it’s that rare story of a drunk driver getting in an accident that is funny. I mean, what kind of a person finds them-self in such a situation?
It’s probably best to have a quick laugh, turn the page and move on. However, when squirrel hunting, you find yourself thinking less about the main character and considering all of the other people that were part of his life that night. This isn’t the sort of crime that takes place without some complicity.
One has to assume that if he drove his chair out of the bar, he drove it to the bar. Sober or not, exactly how does one not attract attention driving their chair out of the house, down the driveway and then turning onto the street?
“Hey, there’s a guy driving his chair down the road. Wait, it’s okay, I don’t think he’s drunk.” Seriously, this is something that unfolds in plenty of time for someone to intervene.
Let’s jump ahead a few hours and assume that he has now arrived at the bar without attracting any interest. Does someone open the door for him? Does he stand up and drag it in himself? Does anyone notice? Does this kind of thing happen regularly at this bar? Exactly how drunk are the rest of the people in this town?
How about the cop? Crashing into a parked car in a padded chair can’t do much damage, and certainly can’t be very loud. Was he sitting in his patrol car watching the events unfold? Was the chair moving too fast for him to take action? Do they impound the chair? Do you actually give the driver a sobriety test or can we just assume he’s well over the limit based on circumstantial evidence? Finally, does everyone involved feel as stupid as they should?
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